Friday, June 15, 2012

Day 39 - Friday, June 15

Third dose of AraC this morning.  As well as nausea and hair loss (like it matters anymore) this drug can cause cerebral (brain) side effects.   Before every dose, Ryan has to sign his name.  I guess differences in the signature can signal toxicity, and the next dose would be withheld or delayed.

Tomorrow he starts another chemo drug - one I'm not familiar with (I had no pen & paper with me to write it down this morning).  Both of these drugs interfere with cellular reproduction.  I would guess that the effect is not specific to lymphocytes, but I don't know for sure.

The bladder symptoms lessen somewhat after his steroid dose, and increase before the next dose.  The doctors told Ryan they would be using less toxic drugs for his future intrathecal chemo. 

Ryan is hungry from the steroids, so he's eating everything in sight again.  We took a walk this morning around the unit several times. 

Shannon is felling almost normal.  She's working with some friends on a silent movie while she is here in the Albany area.  She's written the "script" and is gathering props, etc.  Should be interesting!

I've delegated (?abdicated?) most of my YW presidency responsibilities to my counselors who are fantastic - many thanks to Gretchen, Cindy and Megan!

I'm trying to be upbeat, but this time around I feel even more helpless.  We watched an IMAX movie yesterday on MeiLin's field trip about how changes in the polar ice cap are affecting polar bears.  A lot of the movie was about a polar bear mother trying to protect her cubs.  I relate.

Part of my problem is simple fatigue.  We've been pushing pretty hard on all fronts for the past month.  A recent General Conference address comes to mind - the one where Pres. Uchtdorf recommended slowing down and pacing yourself during times of stress - he compared it to what a pilot does when he hits turbulence.  My default mode is to push myself harder.  I don't think that will help since there's really nothing I can do.  Learning.........   Or trying to.

The current plan is for Ryan to come home on Monday.  Nor sure when the follow up biopsies will be done or when the next chemo will happen.  Not exactly the course I was hoping for when we left Dana Farber on Tuesday. 

Thanks for all the prayers. 
---Barb

1 comment:

  1. I'm so sorry Ryan has had these setbacks. I can only imagine what you as a mother are going through. But know that so many of us love you and are praying for your family. I am sure I am only one of many who check this blog daily and add our prayers to yours. I hope you feel our love and support, and more importantly, the love and support of our Father in Heaven. Rely on him and find peace and rest. And get some actual rest/sleep while you're at it. :) Sending love and prayers,
    Megan Peterson

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